This week is my last week of being a 20-something. Like
everyone else who’s been closing in on the last few days of their 20s, I find
myself feeling a little extra reflective, in a little bit of denial and also
really fucking proud and excited.
Although I’m nearly 30, I’m lucky enough to have a whole
bunch of siblings much, much younger than me. I have three brothers ages 25, 13
and 2. I also have two sisters, ages 14 and 5. That’s a lot of humans to love
and also a lot of humans to worry about.
I’ve spent some time thinking about the advice I could give
them after going through the last decade of my 20s. The thing that resonated
with me most, is that your 20s are really all about learning what it is you want
and deserve in your life.
These are some of the things I hope they’re able to learn. I didn’t
have a super adult sibling to give me any tricks of the trade, but maybe, just
maybe this will help all of them as they/when they navigate through their 20s.
To my siblings who are reading or one day
will read this--- these are the things you deserve:
You deserve a job/career that fulfills you. That makes you
excited to get out of bed in the morning. You deserve a job that you’re proud
to walk into every single day and get shit done for.
You deserve a partner that loves you unconditionally, that
makes you feel like the very best version of yourself. You deserve a partner
who respects you, cares for you, supports you and always makes you feel special
and important, a partner who takes care of your needs as much as he/she takes
care of their own.
You deserve to forgive yourself and others. It’s so
important. It’s the key to healing your pain and finding authentic happiness.
You deserve to make mistakes. We all do. Mistakes are what
teach us to do better the next time around. They shape us. They make us. They
help us grow.
You deserve to surround yourself with good friends. Friends
are a pivotal pillar in our lives. They
are the family we actually get to choose. Choose them wisely. When you choose
the good ones, keep them forever.
You deserve to have a relationship with your family in a
manner that serves you well. Everyone has had their own familial experiences.
Some people have great ones, some (most) are up and down and some are down
right awful. You deserve whatever relationship gives you the right balance of
boundaries, safety, love and comfort.
You deserve to treat yourself. Whatever that is for you. It can
be as extravagant as a trip around the world, or as simple as a bubble bath and
a glass of wine, or a cigar and a beer on your patio. Whatever that is- do it;
simply because you deserve it.
You deserve respect, kindness and honesty. Anyone who does not
give you that, is not worth your time.
You deserve to love yourself. Don't be afraid to do this. You MUST do this. Loving yourself will give you the ability to love others fully, whole heartedly and healthily.
You deserve the life you dream of. The life that when you
close your eyes and envision, your whole heart swells, your palms sweat a
little, and you get a wave of energy that runs through your whole body.
Whatever that life looks like for you, go get it. It may take time, it may take
a lot of work and effort, but dammit, it is WORTH it.
You are worth it. You
deserve it.
With All My Love,
Your Almost 30-Something Sister
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