Perfect Imperfections

I have a friend who is battling a tough battle- anorexia. Through her battle, she’s been brave enough to not only come out and admit her struggle to her loved ones, she’s also found the courage to share her story and her everyday difficulties with the disease for anyone who cares to read it. It’s both inspiring and heart wrenching.

In reading some of her posts, it got me thinking about self-image and our culture’s obsession with “perfection” in the way we look. It made me think about how many of us have things about ourselves we obsess over and wish we could change about our physical appearance; I then began thinking about the things I see as physical “imperfections” about myself.

I don’t think I have a bad body image. I think that at times in my life, I may have, but as I’ve gotten older that’s disappeared. But, I do know that there are things I see in the mirror and think to myself, “that sucks” or “I wish that wasn’t there”. So, I’ve spent some time seeing if I can start looking at those things in a different way- find ways to appreciate them rather than dismiss them as flaws. Here’s a few things I came up with:

-I, like most women, have a few stretch marks. I have a couple on my chest, a couple on my booty and a couple on my hips. I don’t love them, but they are reminders that I am a woman and a woman’s body goes through change and change can be a good thing. Sometimes these little reminders are stuck with us and that’s ok.

-I have a tiny hole in my right nostril and one visible hole above my belly button. I often find myself wishing they’d close up and be invisible, but 8 and 10 years since removing the rings that once filled the holes, they’re still there. I have chosen to one day use these as examples to my children that decisions you make when you’re young can stick with you for a lifetime. These holes will be part of my, "Mama Tool Kit".

-I am naturally very pale. My darkest natural “tan” is most people’s base tan. This, above all things is without a doubt one of my biggest insecurities. Perhaps it was because I was teased as a child about my fair skin or maybe it’s because the media puts a lot of hype around being tan. Or, maybe it’s just that most people do look better with a tan. Either which way, I spent years in tanning beds trying to cover up my natural skin tone- ivory! This past year, I’ve finally begun to embrace it. I still dip into a spray tan from time to time, but I have learned to find ways to love my skin. Hopefully, when I’m a little old lady, this will only benefit me.

-I have a deep scar on the side of my wrist that looks as though I may have attempted to harm myself. I didn’t. The scar is from a puppy I helped raise this past year who scratched me with his 12 week old puppy claws while we were playing. He was the best thing that happened to me in 2012. Even though I may no longer have him, I will always have that scar to remind me of my favorite little buddy.

-I’ve never had a pack of abs. I’ve have/had a flat tummy, but I’ve never had defined muscles in my abdominals. I’ve tried. I’ve tried hard. I’ve slaved away at the gym, crunched my heart out, did more cardio than I can remember and ate healthy (still ate carbs; I refuse to use fad diets). Despite my best efforts, I’ve never had defined ab muscles. And to that I finally say, “SO WHAT?” Sure, they’re sexy, but who cares? Everyone has something sexy about them, abs don’t have to be it. It’s important to develop your abdominal muscles to an extent to support your body, but to obsess over the physical look of them is just plain silly.  I might not ever have them, in fact, I’ve accepted that I likely won’t and I’m totally cool with it. Furthermore, I learned it was time to be thankful for a flat tummy. That in itself is hard work and I'll be lucky if post-kiddos it stays that way. I'm choosing to enjoy it while it's there.

-I have 4 grey baby hairs. I’m approaching 28 in a few months and I have F-O-U-R G-R-E-Y hairs! WTF. WFT. WFT. How? Why? These four little pests are all located in the exact same spot. I can only assume these little strands that accidentally popped out 40 years too soon were put there as a reminder that with age and life experience comes wisdom and Lord knows I’ve gained a dash of wisdom in my life. I’ll assume that’s what those are there to remind me.

These are just a few examples of the things I know I haven’t always loved about myself. But, I’m learning to love them. I’m learning to see their value and learning to embrace them as physical character rather than flaws.

There are some things we can change about our appearance if we choose to. Some things we can enhance medically, some things we can make better health choices towards. Some of these things we should change for our health and some of these things we don’t really need to change at all and might not ever be able to change.

It’s your body, so you get to decide. But, I hope that this post inspires you to take a close look at yourself, completely naked,  especially in the morning when you’re free of any kind of product on your body and find the things you may not love and learn to find something good about each thing. I bet you might just learn to love yourself a little more.

You only get one you and who you are is perfect- we are all perfect imperfections.