Recently, I was on a trip to Vegas with some friends and friends of friends. While sitting at a table in one of the fancy nightclubs, one of them (after a bit of liquid courage) pulled me aside and posed a question. He said, “I by no means want you to take this the wrong way, and it’s not some kind of pick up line, I’d honestly like to know, why is a girl like you single?” He proceeded to share with me the reasons it didn’t make sense to him, which were all very kind and flattering. So, I answered him with a bit of the tid bits I’m about to share with you.
First things first, like I said- the comments he shared were flattering and much appreciated and while I am a woman who knows my worth, who strives to be the best person I can be, I’m well aware of my faults and well aware that there may even be faults that I am still blind to. So, let’s just get that out of the way before we move on. Registered? Okay great…
As I took the flattery and shared my appreciation, I let him know a few things. First of all, the person he was standing there talking to and the person who is sitting here writing this has taken some time, energy and valiant effort to get to this place. Why? Well, because I’m one of those people who looks at the world around me, takes in those around me, decides who I do and don’t want to me, takes a look at myself and says, “No thanks, yes please, let’s see how I can make that happen”, towards the things in life I strive to be and not to be.
Second of all, although I know some people will look at the length of time I’ve spent dating versus the length of time since my last serious relationship and say, “Wow”, I look at it and say, “What’s wrong with that?” What’s wrong with taking the time to know what it is you truly want? What’s wrong with realizing what it is you deserve and not settling for less than that? What’s wrong with taking a look at yourself and figuring out who you want to be in a relationship? What’s wrong with ensuring that you’re living your life up to your standards and not letting the worry about being in a relationship get in the way of that? What’s wrong with being patient and letting those things come and take their course?
Did I always think this way? Eh, mostly. I would say the one thing that’s taken me time to realize is patience in the single life is essential. It’s great to know your worth, great to never settle for less than what you know you deserve and great to work towards being a good person for a potential significant other. However, patience is hands down the hardest part of all. Why is it so hard? Well, DUH we want these wonderful people to walk into our world immediately, because we know just how wonderful they will be! But, the one thing we can’t do, is try to make the ones that seem like they have the potential to be them, become that person. Because, if you ask me, the minute you do that is the minute you end up in heartbreaks, and repetitive dating cycles.
So, why am I single? Well, as I looked around the fancy Vegas nightclub and watched the men and women around me, interacting with each other in the oh so Vegas-esque ways, I simply said in more or less words- Until I meet the right fit for me and I’m the right fit for him, single will be the right fit for me.
Ok, a couple of things. Have I ever mentioned how awesome of a writer you are?
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally agree with you! What's the rush anyways? Technically, you are only NOT married once in your lifetime (unless you get stuck in a cycle that most people woulnd't want). But that's why we all should wait, take the time out to figure out what we really want before we make decisions too quickly.
Do you really want to swing at the first pitch? Or do you want to work the count full so you have a much better idea of what you're going to get?
I've been single for a very long time as well because I believe that one, you should never jump into things, and two, it's very iimportant to work on myself (or yourself) and be the best person possible. Anyways, I'm ranting. Ha.
I guess I'll catch you later!
Thank you :)
ReplyDelete